Behaviour management is a hot potato. Staff in schools are now dealing with presenting behaviours that are much more challenging than they were even 5 years ago. What is good practice and what advice should we be giving to early career teachers?
As a 26 year old newly qualified teacher on his first day on the job in Poplar East London in 1989 I walked up to the school and saw a man emptying bins. I had a piece of paper in my hand from the Inner London Education Authority telling me I had a job here. I had not had an interview at the school, nor had I met any of the staff. I asked the man emptying the bins where the Head was. He explained that he was the Head, the caretaker was getting stitches because he'd been head butted by a student and would I mind giving him a hand? "You must be the new lad from the ILEA", he exclaimed with some relief.
Within days I was told that "No-one lasts more than a week here" and "You'll be lucky to get them to come off the roof." I absolutely loved it there. It was a crazy funny place, full of love for young people. We laughed a lot because it was the only way of not crying. This was pre London Challenge. there was no money we survived because we got really good at managing very difficult children.
I had no idea then that I was dealing with children with complex trauma, adverse childhood experiences , toxic shame and blocked trust. I just tried to like them and build a relationship. I got so many things wrong. I survived on my wit and personality. I played a lot of rugby then. I came into school most Mondays with a black eye or a nose out of joint. I was often the shouty teacher. No-one messed with me. I had classes that no-one else could control eating out of my hand. An old fashioned HMI told me after two years I should be leading other teachers. Often, if behaviour got out of control, I became angry and most of the students backed down. My young ego was inflated by the kudos and praise I got from others. I was promoted quickly and moved around a lot. I got so many things wrong and made some terrible mistakes.
I look back on the teacher I was and feel a sense of shame at some of the things I said and did to young people.
Over the years on the job, coupled with an obsession with understanding human behaviour, I have realised that its not about control or my ego. Years ago, smirking was a real trigger for me. How dare they? I now understand that my reaction to a laugh, a smirk a cutting comment was about my ego being bruised not about the young person. I felt threatened I entered social defense mode, I stopped thinking and controlled young people through fear or resentment when they didn't comply.
The bits I got right: the times I am most proud of is when I gave people a sense of belief in themselves. A couple of years ago, my daughter who is a Community Psychiatrics Nurse, was at a party in London. A man came to her and asked if she was my daughter. He then that I was the only person who ever gave him a sense of belief in himself when I taught him. I told him a story about how he wasn't stupid, as he thought, he was dyslexic and explained about Richard Branson also being Dyslexic. The man then explained to my daughter that he had emigrated to Australia years ago and now had his own construction firm. He had hundreds of people working for him and was really successful. His Australian wife then joined the conversation, telling my daughter how her husband always talked about how I inspired him. My daughter was moved to tears by this encounter and so was I when she told me about it. I felt a real sense of pride. The issue was, I don't remember having that conversation! I remember the student, of course I do. I remember them all even after 32 years on the job. The point is that what we say and how we speak to young people can be life changing. Those casual, throwaway conversations we have with children about them as people can be life changing and affirming, even though we don't realise it.
Expectancy effects have been well documented in Education research and writing from Pygmalion in the Classroom to Paul Dix "When the adults Change". They are our most important tool, but expectation without empathy, kindness and understanding are counter productive.
I often worry that teachers in training today are given a set of tools around zero tolerance, high expectations, no excuses and if I press this big buzzer in my classroom the SLT member will take the problem away. I worry that we are de-skilling a whole generation of teachers who don't know how to talk to children as human beings. They are also trained and told the problem is with the child not them. We perhaps miss a trick here and narrow the focus too much.
Dan Hughes uses the acronym PACE Playful, Loving, Accepting Curiosity and Empathy to describe a therapeutic way of working with traumatized children. Years ago he also had a L in there - LOVE. Its not a dirty word perhaps we should put it back in? PLACE.
Teachers are not therapist. They should not be attempting to take on that role. They can however be therapeutic. They can take on the role of the emotionally available adult for the children in their care By doing so they can and do change lives.
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